Do you ever get the feeling that your spouse is being secretive? Do you catch your partner telling lies or sneaking around? Is your spouse frequently going out at night or staying at work late? Unfortunately, we all know of people that have cheated on their spouse and most of the time, the cheating spouse will do everything possible to avoid the truth being brought to light. Cheaters may meet the other person at work, business trips and events, school, or after reconnecting with old acquaintances.
Infidelity has increased in the past few decades and sadly, it can go on for weeks, months, or even years without the other spouse discovering it. All partners are capable of cheating and it happens more frequently than one would think. Infidelity is more common among men than women, with about 21% of men having cheated on a spouse or significant other at one point in their lives. Women tend to cheat less, without about 15% acknowledging to having had an affair in a current or previous relationship. Cheating wives has increased by about 40% in the past two decades.
In one study, more than 50% of men admitted that they were happy with their marriages and still cheated on their spouses or are currently cheating. More than 30% of women admitted that they cheated on their husbands, even though they were happy in their marriages. This study shows that even if a marriage appears to be great, even to the spouse, there still could be secrets and lies. Not all unfaithful marriages are unhappy marriages, and this is a scary thought.
Cheating spouses are discrete and usually know how to cover their tracks that may lead their husband or wife to suspect anything. This makes it hard to recognize cheating and requires a careful eye for subtle changes in behavior. Some warning signs of a cheating spouse include:
- More self-conscious about appearance. This could mean a spouse starts dressing up, fixing hair and nails, shopping more for clothes and accessories to a point that is somewhat out of the blue or uncharacteristic. Think back to when you are your partner started dating. Many people will go out of their way to be physically fit or look good to impress their new partner.
- More private. A cheating spouse might suddenly start changing passwords on accounts, going behind closed doors more often, go somewhere private to take phone calls, hide calendars, do laundry on their own or in secret, or become agitated when someone goes through their bag or car.
- A sudden increase in workload. This is what often comes to mind when we think of a cheating partner. If a spouse unexpectedly starts using a lot of work excuses such as getting promoted, being assigned a new project, or getting more responsibilities, this could be a sign of cheating. Work is an easy excuse for someone to use, especially when one spouse does not know much about the other spouse’s typical workday, to begin with.
- Increased arguing or decreased emotional connection. A cheating spouse is usually on edge and finds more things to criticize in his or her partner. This can cause more arguments and tension in the relationship. If a spouse seems closed off and unwilling to talk about his or her feelings, it could mean that those emotional needs are being fulfilled by someone else.
- Catching a spouse in a lie. If your spouse has told you that he or she is going to the grocery store, and are caught driving a different route or walking into a restaurant, this is a very clear sign that something is off. You know your spouse better than anyone, and if you find yourself catching him or her in lies, it will probably give you a gut feeling that your spouse is hiding something.
Other possible signs of cheating could include finding unfamiliar objects in a spouse’s bag or car, finding extra social media accounts, noticing a change in intimacy, avoidance of family events, or suddenly receiving a lot of gifts from a spouse. Keep in mind, of course, that none of these warning signs mean that a spouse is cheating. Noticing one or more of these signs could mean that there is something else going on. It may also mean that you fear your spouse is cheating and need professional help getting to the bottom of it.
Private investigating infidelity could be done in various different ways, including GPS tracking, surveillance, or following. Unfortunately many spouses will continue to lie even when confronted by cheating accusations. Without hard evidence, it can be easy for a cheating spouse to deny the accusations and just become more careful to cover up his or her infidelity.
Discovering that a spouse has been cheating can be a very personal, emotional, and embarrassing ordeal. Hiring a professional investigator to help discover the truth can ensure that hard proof is discovered and that discretion and sensitivity will be used. All information that is discovered will only be revealed to the spouse who seeks the information and will not be revealed to anyone else. We understand how sensitive this subject can be and all proof of cheating will be confidential between the investigator and the client.